I want to open up about something that's impacted me deeply in my career: toxic leadership. I've experienced gaslighting and other damaging behaviors from leaders firsthand. It's not just frustrating- it can shake your confidence, drain your energy, and make you question your own reality. If you've ever felt this way, I want you to know: you're not alone.

There were times when I'd leave meetings feeling confused and doubting myself, even though I knew I was prepared. I've had leaders deny conversations we'd just had, shift blame for their own mistakes, and make me feel isolated from the rest of the team. These experiences inspired me to learn more about toxic leadership and to help others recognize the signs before they're caught in the crossfire.

Here are some major warning signs of toxic leaders:

• Gaslighting - Making you question your memory, feelings, or sanity. ("I never said that," even though you have the email.)
• Moving the Goalposts - Changing expectations or rules without warning, so you always feel like you're falling short.
• Ignoring or Punishing Feedback - Shutting down suggestions and making you feel unsafe for speaking up.
• Micromanagement - Not trusting you to do your job, demanding control over every detail.
• Fear and Intimidation - Using threats, criticism, or public shaming to keep people in line.
• Taking Credit, Shifting Blame - Claiming your successes as their own, but pointing fingers when things go wrong.
• Lack of Transparency - Keeping you in the dark about decisions that affect your work.
• Playing Favorites - Rewarding loyalty over talent, or excluding people from opportunities.
• No Empathy - Treating you like a number, not a person.
• Burnout Culture - Expecting you to be always available, never respecting boundaries.
• Isolation - Leaving you out of meetings or information loops to undermine your confidence.

Thankfully, I've also worked with some incredible leaders who showed me what healthy leadership looks like. Here's what I look for now:

• Integrity- They do what they say, and say what they mean.
• Accountability - They own their mistakes and encourage others to learn from theirs.
• Empathy - They care about you as a person, not just an employee.
• Listening - They genuinely want your input and make you feel heard.
• Transparency - They keep you informed and explain the "why" behind decisions.
• Empowerment - They trust you to do your job and help you grow.
• Recognition - They celebrate your wins and give credit where it's due.
• Respect - They treat everyone fairly, regardless of position or background.

Recognizing these signs changed the way I approach my work and my well-being. If you see these red flags, know that you deserve better. We all do.

Let's support each other in building workplaces where respect, trust, and empathy come first.

Have you experienced toxic leadership? Your story matters and could help others recognize similar patterns in their workplace.

Comment below with your experiences or strategies for dealing with toxic leadership. Let's learn from each other.

Don't hesitate to connect if you're currently struggling with a toxic work environment. Sometimes just talking about it can provide clarity and relief.

References;

CIAM EDU

How to spot toxic leadership—and what to do about it

30 Leadership Behaviors You Need to be an Excellent Leader