Confidence Isn't Arrogance — It's Data-Backed Self-Awareness
Let's set the record straight: confidence in women is not arrogance. It's earned. It's measured. It's deserved. And often, it's misunderstood.
The Double Standard
When a man walks into a room, states his point clearly, and advocates for himself, he's seen as a leader. When a woman does the same? She's often labeled as "too much," "intimidating," or worse— "arrogant."
I've lived this. Years ago, during a client meeting, I was asking valid and necessary questions about their information security program—questions that needed to be asked. But instead of support, my manager cut me off in front of the client and said, "Let's move on," with visible annoyance. The message was clear: my questions, my voice, my presence—weren't welcome.
I felt embarrassed, small, and suddenly unsure of myself. That one moment chipped away at my confidence more than I'd like to admit. And it took time, courage, and a lot of internal work to find my voice again.
But here's what I've learned: silencing someone who raises valid security concerns is more than bad leadership—it's a risk. And dimming someone's confidence doesn't reflect their weakness. It reflects the insecurity of the person trying to shrink them.
The Numbers Don't Lie
- Companies with women in executive roles outperform financially by 25%. 1
- Firms with 30% women in leadership are 12x more likely to hit top-tier financial performance. 2
- Women CEOs have outpaced male-led firms in return on equity over a 10-year period. 3
Confidence isn't just a feeling—it's a reflection of this reality. It's what happens when you know your value and have the receipts to prove it.
What Real Confidence Looks Like
It's not loud. It's not ego driven. It's quietly consistent.
- It's the woman who walks into meetings knowing her numbers inside and out.
- The leader who advocates for her team with clarity and composure.
- The one who speaks up—even after being shut down.
Confidence is self-awareness. It's knowing your strengths, your voice, and your right to be in the room—even when someone tries to diminish you.
Redefining the Narrative
The workplace doesn't need fewer confident women. It needs fewer people uncomfortable with confident women.
So, if you've ever felt shut down, second-guessed, or sidelined—know this: You're not arrogant. You're aware. You've earned your seat. And you're just getting started.
Reference:
2. https://www.ellevest.com/magazine/stats-about-women-money
3. https://www.leadingnow.biz/blog/tracking-the-business-case-research-from-around-the-globe?
By Ekta Chander, Ph.D
Reflections
